June 10, 2013
"

To all those who don’t think the rape joke was a problem, or rape jokes are a problem.

I get it, you’re a decent guy. I can even believe it. You’ve never raped anybody. You would NEVER rape anybody. You’re upset that all these feminists are trying to accuse you of doing something or connect you to doing something that, as far as you’re concerned, you’ve never done and would never condone.

And they’ve told you about triggers, and PTSD, and how one in six women is a survivor, and you get it. You do. But you can’t let every time someone gets all upset get in the way of you having a good time, right?

So fine. If all those arguments aren’t going anything for you, let me tell you this. And I tell you this because I genuinely believe you mean it when you say you don’t want to hurt anybody, and you don’t see the harm, and that it’s important to you to do your best to be a decent and good person. And I genuinely believe you when you say you would never associate with a rapist and you think rape really is a very bad thing.

Because this is why I refuse to take rape jokes sitting down-

6% of college age men, slightly over 1 in 20, will admit to raping someone in anonymous surveys, as long as the word “rape” isn’t used in the description of the act.

6% of Penny Arcade’s target demographic will admit to actually being rapists when asked.

A lot of people accuse feminists of thinking that all men are rapists. That’s not true. But do you know who think all men are rapists?

Rapists do.

They really do. In psychological study, the profiling, the studies, it comes out again and again.

Virtually all rapists genuinely believe that all men rape, and other men just keep it hushed up better. And more, these people who really are rapists are constantly reaffirmed in their belief about the rest of mankind being rapists like them by things like rape jokes, that dismiss and normalize the idea of rape.

If one in twenty guys is a real and true rapist, and you have any amount of social activity with other guys like yourself, really cool guy, then it is almost a statistical certainty that one time hanging out with friends and their friends, playing Halo with a bunch of guys online, in a WoW guild, or elsewhere, you were talking to a rapist. Not your fault. You can’t tell a rapist apart any better than anyone else can. It’s not like they announce themselves.

But, here’s the thing. It’s very likely that in some of these interactions with these guys, at some point or another someone told a rape joke. You, decent guy that you are, understood that they didn’t mean it, and it was just a joke. And so you laughed.

And, decent guy who would never condone rape, who would step in and stop rape if he saw it, who understands that rape is awful and wrong and bad, when you laughed?

That rapist who was in the group with you, that rapist thought that you were on his side. That rapist knew that you were a rapist like him. And he felt validated, and he felt he was among his comrades.

You. The rapist’s comrade.

And if that doesn’t make you feel sick to your stomach, if that doesn’t make you want to throw up, if that doesn’t disturb you or bother you or make you feel like maybe you should at least consider not participating in that kind of humor anymore…

Well, maybe you aren’t as opposed to rapists as you claim.

"

—

Time-Machine (via a comment at shakesville.com)

Single greatest argument about this I have ever heard. 

(via justintheallan)

(via thingsthatverbme)

12:04am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZmaiTym-MVBn
(Notes: 52,887)
  
Filed under: rape culture 
May 22, 2013
"If owning a gun and knowing how to use it worked, the military would be the safest place for a woman. It’s not.

If women covering up their bodies worked, Afghanistan would have a lower rate of sexual assault than Polynesia. It doesn’t.

If not drinking alcohol worked, children would not be raped. They are.

If your advice to a woman to avoid rape is to be the most modestly dressed, soberest and first to go home, you may as well add “so the rapist will choose someone else”.

If your response to hearing a woman has been raped is “she didn’t have to go to that bar/nightclub/party” you are saying that you want bars, nightclubs and parties to have no women in them. Unless you want the women to show up, but wear kaftans and drink orange juice. Good luck selling either of those options to your friends.

Or you could just be honest and say that you don’t want less rape, you want (even) less prosecution of rapists."

— A Short Post on Rape Prevention (via ceedling)

(via wilde-is-on-mine)

1:10am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZmaiTylYu7at
(Notes: 50,763)
  
Filed under: rape culture 
March 31, 2013

karnythia:

thatneedstogo:

29 Glorious Takedowns of #SafetyTipsForLadies - Buzzfeed

Oh hey, that’s me. And some friends. Interesting.

(Source: heavenrants, via fuckingscreaming)

3:35am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZmaiTyhY9faR
(Notes: 21,443)
  
Filed under: rape culture 
March 18, 2013

xo-frnk:

» a girl gets raped
» she reports her rapists
» she wins the trial against them
» media says that the girl ruined the rapists’ lives
» ????????? ??? ?

(via equalityandthecity)

10:36am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZmaiTygYN6Go
(Notes: 78,620)
  
Filed under: rape culture 
January 22, 2013

diesoapscum:

Literally like the only way most men can think of a woman as a person who shouldn’t be raped and abused is by thinking of her as “someone’s daughter”, “someone’s wife”, “someone’s sister”, etc. They can’t just think of her as a woman unto herself who SHOULD NOT BE RAPED WHETHER OR NOT SHE IS A SINGLE ORPHANED ONLY CHILD, that would be weird. She must belong or be connected to someone in some way in order to be a person worthy of respect.

(via wilde-is-on-mine)

11:17pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZmaiTycQ_IgM
(Notes: 5,933)
  
Filed under: rape culture 
January 21, 2013
"You’re busy teaching your daughters not to get raped and busy teaching your sons—by encouragement, entitlement, and omission—how to rape."

— Son of Baldwin (via vidavivesinmi)

(Source: sonofbaldwin, via breachbangbloom)

11:11pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZmaiTycLxgcD
(Notes: 956)
  
Filed under: rape culture 
October 26, 2012
koryminx: inherhipstheresrevolutions: YES. FUCK YES

koryminx:

inherhipstheresrevolutions:

YES.

FUCK YES

(via sapphrikah)

3:19am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZmaiTyV-QI21
(Notes: 114,249)
  
Filed under: rape culture 
October 25, 2012

(Source: ninanarwhal, via sapphrikah)

4:00am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZmaiTyVxh5RH
(Notes: 62,734)
  
Filed under: rape culture 
October 4, 2012
mourning the loss

wilde-is-on-mine:

[TW: rape, harassment] 

kylathegreat:

we’re busy brainstorming
ways to avoid
harassment and rape
while you hang with your pals
and complain
about the bitch who ignored you
on her way to work
and the slut who gave you the finger
as she got off the bus
and the cunt who said, “no thank you”
with her head down and a lump in her throat.

give us a fucking break
we’re too busy mourning
the loss of our bodies
to reply in kind
to those who’ve taken them.

12:29pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZmaiTyUde3Oo
(Notes: 333)
  
Filed under: poetry rape culture nice guys 
September 18, 2012

inherhipstheresrevolutions:

You do not have right of way over my body. Ever.

madamethursday:

Not even if you really, really, really(!) want to have sex with me. 

Not even if you’re a fucking hero/ine.

Not even if you’re famous

Not even if you won every Superbowl for the last decade

Not even if I let everyone else in the room do it.

Not even if I consent to sex and sexual contact for a living.

Not even if you think you’re being nice. 

Not even if you’ve given me a million dollars. 

Not even if you think you have a good reason. 

Not even if you’re a fetus. 

Not even if you have strong feelings about fetuses. 

Not even if your god or gods told you to. 

Not even if we’re married. 

Not even if we’ve been going out for ten years. 

Not even if we have children together. 

Not even if I said ‘yes’ to something else five minutes ago.

Not even if I didn’t say anything.

Not even if I strip all my clothes off and walk naked in front of you. 

Not even if I’m so drunk I can’t see straight.

Not even if I’m dressed that way. Or any way.

Not even if I took every narcotic substance known to humanity in one go.

Not even if you’re a taxpayer. 

Not even if you think I’ll regret it later. 

Not even if you think it’s ugly.

Not even if you think nobody else would want it

Not even if you think it’s for my own good. 

Not even if you carry a badge and a gun.

Not even if you have an ‘M.D.’ after your name.

Not even if there’s a war going on. 

Not EVER. 

When I say “stop”, you fucking well STOP. You put on the brakes and you FUCKING STOP whatever you’re doing. 

As far as my body is concerned, you go only when I say go. And you wait to hear the word “go”. You don’t jump the gun with me or you’re in the wrong. If you don’t hear “yes” or me giving some other positive signal that I consent and agree, you don’t take action.

You tread at my pleasure and my pleasure alone. No one else can give you permission, not society, not your church, not a police officer, not your buddies, not even my silence.

The only thing that gives you permission is my consent. My consent. Nothing else can be substituted for it. It is absolute. I am the land and that is its law.

And if you don’t get that. If you disagree with even an iota of this? You’re participating in rape culture. You’re WHY rape culture is still going strong. You’re why abuse culture is still going strong. You’re the fucking problem.

(via ashlynnbast)

1:33am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZmaiTyTcQW_O
(Notes: 1,601)
  
Filed under: rape culture 
September 14, 2012
ouyangdan: kamidoodles: twisted-little-porcelain-doll: sodomymcscurvylegs: jadelyn: “Men should be offended when someone claims that women should prevent rape by not wearing certain things or not going certain places or not acting in a certain way. That line of thinking presumes that you are incapable of control.That you are so base and uncivilized that it takes extraordinary effort for you to walk down the street without raping someone. That you require a certain dress code be maintained, that certain behaviors be employed so that maybe today, just maybe, you won’t rape someone. It presumes that your natural state is rapist.” Thank fucking God someone said this! I always get so pissed when someone says: “Boys will be boys!” FUCK YOU! I have enough self control never to harm another person. Alladis. Yuup. Spoiler: Patriarchy and Rape Culture hurts men too. EVEN I CAN BE A LITTLE ‘WHAT ABOUT THE MEN’ WHEN IT SUITS ME.

ouyangdan:

kamidoodles:

twisted-little-porcelain-doll:

sodomymcscurvylegs:

jadelyn:

“Men should be offended when someone claims that women should prevent rape by not wearing certain things or not going certain places or not acting in a certain way. That line of thinking presumes that you are incapable of control.That you are so base and uncivilized that it takes extraordinary effort for you to walk down the street without raping someone. That you require a certain dress code be maintained, that certain behaviors be employed so that maybe today, just maybe, you won’t rape someone.

It presumes that your natural state is rapist.”

Thank fucking God someone said this! I always get so pissed when someone says: “Boys will be boys!” FUCK YOU! I have enough self control never to harm another person.

Alladis.

Yuup.

Spoiler: Patriarchy and Rape Culture hurts men too.

EVEN I CAN BE A LITTLE ‘WHAT ABOUT THE MEN’ WHEN IT SUITS ME.

(Source: shardpool, via breachbangbloom)

3:50am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZmaiTyTMMVjy
(Notes: 32,845)
  
Filed under: rape culture 
August 25, 2012
girlgoesgrrr: The only way to prevent drowning is to ban liquid. No drinking, no swimming, no bathing. 

girlgoesgrrr:

The only way to prevent drowning is to ban liquid. No drinking, no swimming, no bathing. 

10:44pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZmaiTyS8wLBJ
(Notes: 59)
  
Filed under: rape culture 
May 26, 2012
"

Men who want to flirt with women have to realize: Women live in a state of continual vigilance about sexual safety. It’s like having a mild case of hay fever that never goes away. It’s not debilitating. You’re not weak. You’re not afraid. You just suck it up and get on with your life. It’s nothing that’s going to stop you from making discoveries, or climbing mountains, or falling in love. Sometimes you can almost forget about it. It doesn’t mean it’s not there, subtly sucking your energy. You learn to avoid situations that make it worse and seek out conditions that make it better.

If a female stranger is wary around you, it is not because she suspects you are a rapist, or that all men are rapists. It’s because a general level of circumspection is what vigilance requires. Don’t take it personally.

If this frustrates you, try to remember that women are blamed for lapsed vigilance. If a woman does get raped, everyone rushes to see where she let her guard down. Was she drinking? Was she alone? Was she wearing a short skirt? Did she go to a strange man’s room for coffee at 4am?

A woman must be seen to be vigilant as well as be vigilant. If she is deemed insufficiently vigilant, she will be at least partly blamed for any sexual violence that befalls her. If she’s regarded as downright reckless, that “evidence” can be used to completely exonerate her rapist. If it comes down to a he said/she said dispute over whether sex was consensual, as so many rape cases do, the dispute becomes a referendum on whether the woman seems like the sort of reckless person who would have sex with a stranger.

If a woman does go back to a strange man’s hotel room at 4am, even if she only wants a coffee and conversation, she’s more or less given him the power to rape her. No jury is going to believe she went up there for anything but sex. So, don’t be surprised if a stranger reacts badly to that suggestion.

"

—

Attention, Space Cadets: Do Not Proposition Women in the Elevator

I wish I didn’t need to reblog stuff like this. I wish people *got it*. But judging from the ridiculous response to these posts, stuff like this clearly still needs to be repeated. 

(via lavender-labia)

This actually made me cry. Ugh. 

(via m0nikered)

Will always reblog

(via stfuconservatives)

(via littlecitywitch)

3:20am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZmaiTyM9jC90
(Notes: 19,618)
  
Filed under: quote rape culture 
April 14, 2012
11.30 FOR THOSE WHO ASKED FOR DETAILS [TW]

meganfalley:

As part of NAPOWRIMO’S 30/30 Challenge, in the month of April I have dedicated to writing a poem everyday. Here goes:

FOR THOSE WHO ASKED FOR DETAILS

You have woken up in his bed every morning for a year. After he persuades himself inside you for the fifth time this hour, you motion to the heap of clothes on the floor. To the shower and the towel. To both your boots and the metro cards on his nightstand. The beckoning day. You are thinking of adding vanilla extract to his pancake batter. Of the places outside his big city window you have not yet seen together. Of twirling his hair in your lap as he says genius and hilarious things in a park somewhere, in the sun. He asks Where do you think you’re going, Miss? And the story does not change. He has never, and will not now snatch your wrist. Will not smack a chorus of yeses from you like resuscitating a jukebox. You are a girl, and you have learned to bargain your way with laughter before. But this morning your giggle is a foreign currency he won’t accept. You explain the soreness between your legs. How the well has dried up. Feels like three dry cotton rags are folded inside you. Your body needs a break. But the story does not change. He does not yank you by the ponytail. There is no hand stretched over your mouth like duct tape. There never was and there won’t be now. Instead, he pours a cup of guilt. Says you are a feast and he, the famine. How selfish it would be to hoard such muscle. You explain a second time: five cotton rags folded inside. Dry as licking cinnamon and sand. Pain, you say. A small rip. But he doesn’t tear open your dress. Does not palm your shoulder. He never did, and he isn’t going to now. Rather, he says If our appetites don’t align, we probably will not work. You beg, cry, say five times already this morning, baby. Pain. Rip. Cinnamon and sand rags. He says Probably will not work. He doesn’t lift a finger, but smirks as you throw yourself down. As you pin your own shoulder back. Wrench open your twos legs. Split your favorite dress on purpose. As you rip.

(via fuckyeahslampoems)

12:19am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZmaiTyJdgbTl
(Notes: 99)
  
Filed under: poetry rape culture 
February 22, 2012
"When we complain about men raping, abusing, harassing, and refusing us our human rights, and you come back angrily with “But some men aren’t like that! How dare you imply that I might be like that.” Do you not think that the problem might come from the very fact that you are angry at … us for complaining, rather than angry at your fellow boys and men for this enduring misogyny? Instead of being furious that we point out that many men do act this way - including men these women trust completely - be angry that there are men that will treat your mother, sister, daughter, friend, girlfriend badly purely because they are female. Not only that but they are giving you a bad name, not us."

— Unknown. (via futureabortiondoctor, inherhipstheresrevolutions) (via aoawaywego) (via she-hulk-smash) (via loveyourchaos) (via yanettcanhazsoul) (via baddominicana) (via witchsistah) (via queergiftedblack) (via ladyspeakstheblues)

7:45am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZmaiTyGqvX5d
(Notes: 3,719)
  
Filed under: quote rape culture 
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