March 27, 2013
"‘Passing’ necessarily makes ‘failing’ the fault of the trans* person who doesn’t try hard enough to fit into a stereotyped role of the ‘opposite’ gender, rather than the fault of the systemically and unfalteringly transphobic society that only believes in binary genders, and dictates a very certain, very narrow way for trans* people to be accepted as one of those two genders. The struggle is enough for trans* men and women, but what of the few people who don’t want to be seen as either female or male?"

—

Pass/fail: Navigating a World that doesn’t Believe your Gender Exists (via ninjabikeslut)

like seriously…

(via hysthetics)

Maybe that’s why some trans* people believe that nonbinary people don’t have dysphoria/ have it easier—because if they aren’t struggling to pass as one gender or the other, then there would be no issue. Not saying I believe that (I am nonbinary), I’ve just wondered why pass/fail gets painted as a binary trans* issue.

(via whoiamisrainbow)

(via vaganja)

1:09am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZmaiTyhDlR5u
(Notes: 1,977)
  
Filed under: gender 
February 18, 2013
amydentata: superqueerartsyblog: ✿ Walking talking queer encyclopedia with a healthy rose-cheeked smile! ✿ Not pictured: Punching bag accessory, for when The Cis (read like “the Sith”) feel like bullying.

amydentata:

superqueerartsyblog:

✿ Walking talking queer encyclopedia with a healthy rose-cheeked smile! ✿

Not pictured: Punching bag accessory, for when The Cis (read like “the Sith”) feel like bullying.

(via saourealis)

2:14pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZmaiTyeRw7St
(Notes: 12,541)
  
Filed under: gender 
February 15, 2013
artactivistnia: severelycalm: thegenderpurple: I am a gay woman of colour. I have studied Gender and Sexuality for four years, am getting my Masters in the same, have acted for many years in drag, and want to eventually write a book about Drag and Gendered Performance. And here is what unnerves me a little about the androgyny on Tumblr. I feel alienated by it. For the simple reason that my body/mind/sexuality is left out. Androgyny is an aesthetic. But it is also gender performance, an intellectual perspective and a sexual identity. I am androgynous. Not by aesthetic always. My clothing may reflect it sometimes. I spend a lot of time in drag, and my gender identity encompasses every breast-bind, every change of shadow on my face. But it is not my only body. And I have many bodies, and many mental states, and many bedroom moves – and they are androgynous. Don’t get me wrong. Aesthetically androgynous women are GORGEOUS. Aesthetic androgyny is GLORIOUS. I am uber attracted to androgynous ladies. Have dated quite a few. But it is not the only androgyny. And sometimes, I want people to remember me. To recognize that you don’t need to know me to consider the possibility of a particular identity. To remember that this identity lies in my stride, in my gender performance, in my mind. To know that I can bend my gender to match you, to contrast to yours, and to fit my will. And all of it is authentic, is genuine, is mine. I use my makeup to gloss my mouth and shade my eyes sometimes, and to texture my facial hair and draw on a mustache sometimes. The same tools on the same body. The same mind in the same body. A combination of masculine and feminine in the same body. See me. I can be anything from femme to super butch to quite a motherfucking sexy drag king. I’m not going to wax Foucauldian about gender identities, because I want to break it down to this – androgyny is more than its popular representation. It is something that is visceral, and I do not want it underrepresented. And I am nervous because I don’t want to encroach on the aesthetically androgynous groups, but I want to make myself heard. ANDROGYNY IS OF THE MIND. Beyond all else. Sometimes it looks like me. Like this.  This is important; also I’m posting this because god damn, this person is fine. Posting this mainly for QPOC visibility reasons. Skinny white people do not own androgyny. Just sayin’. And all of it is authentic, is genuine, is mine.

artactivistnia:

severelycalm:

thegenderpurple:

I am a gay woman of colour. I have studied Gender and Sexuality for four years, am getting my Masters in the same, have acted for many years in drag, and want to eventually write a book about Drag and Gendered Performance.

And here is what unnerves me a little about the androgyny on Tumblr. I feel alienated by it. For the simple reason that my body/mind/sexuality is left out. Androgyny is an aesthetic. But it is also gender performance, an intellectual perspective and a sexual identity. I am androgynous. Not by aesthetic always. My clothing may reflect it sometimes. I spend a lot of time in drag, and my gender identity encompasses every breast-bind, every change of shadow on my face. But it is not my only body. And I have many bodies, and many mental states, and many bedroom moves – and they are androgynous.

Don’t get me wrong. Aesthetically androgynous women are GORGEOUS. Aesthetic androgyny is GLORIOUS. I am uber attracted to androgynous ladies. Have dated quite a few. But it is not the only androgyny. And sometimes, I want people to remember me. To recognize that you don’t need to know me to consider the possibility of a particular identity. To remember that this identity lies in my stride, in my gender performance, in my mind. To know that I can bend my gender to match you, to contrast to yours, and to fit my will. And all of it is authentic, is genuine, is mine.

I use my makeup to gloss my mouth and shade my eyes sometimes, and to texture my facial hair and draw on a mustache sometimes. The same tools on the same body. The same mind in the same body. A combination of masculine and feminine in the same body.

See me. I can be anything from femme to super butch to quite a motherfucking sexy drag king. I’m not going to wax Foucauldian about gender identities, because I want to break it down to this – androgyny is more than its popular representation. It is something that is visceral, and I do not want it underrepresented. And I am nervous because I don’t want to encroach on the aesthetically androgynous groups, but I want to make myself heard. ANDROGYNY IS OF THE MIND. Beyond all else.

Sometimes it looks like me. Like this. 

This is important; also I’m posting this because god damn, this person is fine.

Posting this mainly for QPOC visibility reasons. Skinny white people do not own androgyny. Just sayin’.

And all of it is authentic, is genuine, is mine.

(via saourealis)

8:03am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZmaiTyeBeqtS
(Notes: 2,698)
  
Filed under: gender 
October 2, 2012
SOME DAYS TRANSITIONING CAN BE SUCH A CRASH COURSE IN PUBLIC SCRUTINY. ITS AS IF THE GENERAL PUBLIC FORGOT THE BASIC IDEA THAT ITS RUDE TO STARE. ITS GETTING ON A TRAIN FILLED WITH EYES DETERMINED TO DECIPHER MY BODY AND ITS COVERINGS WITH CODES AND SEMIOTIC SYSTEMS THAT CAN’T EVEN RECOGNIZE MY FACE. ITS CIS MEN, OLD AND YOUNG, FLUCTUATING BETWEEN DISGUST, SEXUAL INTEREST AND/OR A REFUSAL TO ENGAGE EITHER OF THE TWO. ITS CIS WOMEN, YOUNG AND OLD, SPITTING ON MY FACE WITH THEIR EYES, SHAMING ME WITH GLARES. ITS A WORLD OF PEOPLE HURRYING TO GET TO THEIR 9 TO 5 AND TRUCK IT BACK HOME BEFORE THEY HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE SPACE I’M PRESUMED TO NATURALLY INHABIT - THE UNREGULATED LAISSEZ-FAIRE MARKET OF DESIRE SYMBOLIZED BY THE NIGHT. I AM AN UNWELCOME REMINDER THAT THEIR WORLD IS AN ILLUSION. A VIRUS INCARNATE

(Source: julianahuxtable, via a-bayani-deactivated20121004)

9:29am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZmaiTyUV6F65
(Notes: 352)
  
Filed under: gender 
September 13, 2012
thatisnotfeminism: “equality”

thatisnotfeminism:

“equality”

(Source: hereticarts, via sapphrikah)

4:42am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZmaiTyTInz_4
(Notes: 960)
  
Filed under: hmm gender 
August 27, 2012
steegeschnoeber: oneandonlygabriel: I really, REALLY wish you could read this article about a father who started wearing skirts because his son likes to wear skirts and dresses and he wants his son to feel strongerLike, holy shit, the end made me feel so happy  I took the liberty to translate the text. Please note that it’s not a word to word translation. Sometimes men simply have to be role models. Because his son likes to wear skirts Nils Pickert started with it as well. After all, the little one needs a role model. And he thinks long skirts with elastic bands suit him quite well anyways. A story about two misfits in the Province of southern Germany. My fife year old son likes to wear dresses. In Berlin Kreuzberg that alone would be enough to get into conversation with other parents. Is it wise or ridiculous? „Neither one nor the other!“ I still want to shout back at them. But sadly they can’t hear me any more. Because by now I live in a small town in South Germany. Not even a hundred thousand inhabitants, very traditional, very religious. Plainly motherland. Here the partiality of my son are not only a subject for parents, they are a town wide issue. And I did my bit for that to happen. Yes, I’m one of those dads, that try to raise their children equal. I’m not one of those academic daddies that ramble about gender equality during their studies and then, as soon as a child’s in the house, still relapse into those fluffy gender roles: He’s finding fulfilment in his carrier and she’s doing the rest. Thus I am, I know that by now, part of the minority that makes a fool of themselves from time to time. Out of conviction. In my case that’s because I didn’t want to talk my son into not wearing dresses and skirts. He didn’t make friends in doing that in Berlin already and after a lot of contemplation I had only one option left: To broaden my shoulders for my little buddy and dress in a skirt myself. After all you can’t expect a child at pre-school age to have the same ability to assert themselves as an adult. Completely without role model. And so I became that role model. We already had skirt and dress days back then during mild Kreuzbergian weather. And I think long skirts with elastic bands suit me quite well anyways. Dresses are a bit more difficult. There was either no reaction of the people in Berlin or it was positive. In my small town in the south of Germany that’s a little bit different. Being all stressed out, because of the moving I forgot to notify the nursery-school teachers to have an eye on my boy not being laughed at because of his fondness of dresses and skirts. Shortly after moving he didn’t dare to go to nursery-school wearing a skirt or a dress any more. And looking at me with big eyes he asked: “Daddy, when are you going to wear a skirt again?” To this very day I’m thankful for that women, that stared at us on the street until she ran face first into a street light. My son was roaring with laugher. And the next day he fished out a dress from the depth of his wardrobe. At first only for the weekend. Later also for nursery-school. And what’s the little guy doing by now? He’s painting his fingernails. He thinks it looks pretty on my nails, too. He’s simply smiling, when other boys ( and it’s nearly always boys) want to make fun of him and says: “You only don’t dare to wear skirts and dresses because your dads don’t dare to either.” That’s how broad his own shoulders have become by now. And all thanks to daddy in a skirt. I hope it’s alright like this.

steegeschnoeber:

oneandonlygabriel:

I really, REALLY wish you could read this article about a father who started wearing skirts because his son likes to wear skirts and dresses and he wants his son to feel stronger
Like, holy shit, the end made me feel so happy 

I took the liberty to translate the text.

Please note that it’s not a word to word translation.

Sometimes men simply have to be role models.

Because his son likes to wear skirts Nils Pickert started with it as well. After all, the little one needs a role model. And he thinks long skirts with elastic bands suit him quite well anyways. A story about two misfits in the Province of southern Germany.

My fife year old son likes to wear dresses. In Berlin Kreuzberg that alone would be enough to get into conversation with other parents. Is it wise or ridiculous? „Neither one nor the other!“ I still want to shout back at them. But sadly they can’t hear me any more. Because by now I live in a small town in South Germany. Not even a hundred thousand inhabitants, very traditional, very religious. Plainly motherland. Here the partiality of my son are not only a subject for parents, they are a town wide issue. And I did my bit for that to happen.

Yes, I’m one of those dads, that try to raise their children equal. I’m not one of those academic daddies that ramble about gender equality during their studies and then, as soon as a child’s in the house, still relapse into those fluffy gender roles: He’s finding fulfilment in his carrier and she’s doing the rest.

Thus I am, I know that by now, part of the minority that makes a fool of themselves from time to time. Out of conviction.

In my case that’s because I didn’t want to talk my son into not wearing dresses and skirts. He didn’t make friends in doing that in Berlin already and after a lot of contemplation I had only one option left: To broaden my shoulders for my little buddy and dress in a skirt myself. After all you can’t expect a child at pre-school age to have the same ability to assert themselves as an adult. Completely without role model. And so I became that role model.

We already had skirt and dress days back then during mild Kreuzbergian weather. And I think long skirts with elastic bands suit me quite well anyways. Dresses are a bit more difficult. There was either no reaction of the people in Berlin or it was positive. In my small town in the south of Germany that’s a little bit different.

Being all stressed out, because of the moving I forgot to notify the nursery-school teachers to have an eye on my boy not being laughed at because of his fondness of dresses and skirts. Shortly after moving he didn’t dare to go to nursery-school wearing a skirt or a dress any more. And looking at me with big eyes he asked: “Daddy, when are you going to wear a skirt again?”

To this very day I’m thankful for that women, that stared at us on the street until she ran face first into a street light. My son was roaring with laugher. And the next day he fished out a dress from the depth of his wardrobe. At first only for the weekend. Later also for nursery-school.

And what’s the little guy doing by now? He’s painting his fingernails. He thinks it looks pretty on my nails, too. He’s simply smiling, when other boys ( and it’s nearly always boys) want to make fun of him and says: “You only don’t dare to wear skirts and dresses because your dads don’t dare to either.” That’s how broad his own shoulders have become by now. And all thanks to daddy in a skirt.

I hope it’s alright like this.

(via breachbangbloom)

3:06am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZmaiTySEFIVQ
(Notes: 76,143)
  
Filed under: gender 
August 14, 2012
anti-oppressivebabyanimals: [IMAGE DESCRIPTION: PROFILE OF A BABY PLATYPUS LYING ON A TURQUOISE BLANKET. TEXT READS, “IT’S AN I-DENTITY, NOT A YOU-DENTITY. STOP TRYING TO TELL ME WHO I AM.”] No idea why it’s on this image but yesss.

anti-oppressivebabyanimals:

[IMAGE DESCRIPTION: PROFILE OF A BABY PLATYPUS LYING ON A TURQUOISE BLANKET. TEXT READS, “IT’S AN I-DENTITY, NOT A YOU-DENTITY. STOP TRYING TO TELL ME WHO I AM.”]

No idea why it’s on this image but yesss.

(Source: anti-oppressivebabyanimals, via wilde-is-on-mine)

5:37am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZmaiTyROQDnT
(Notes: 1,082)
  
Filed under: quote gender 
August 9, 2012
Trans-action and Gender Floods by Atreyu Bat

genderfork:

Dear you,
you’re wearing a corset and vinyl leggings
and you don’t have breasts to fill in the pockets,
but you look great in it anyway.

Dear you,
sucking on star shaped chocolate
while picking out a pink strap-on
to make love to your beautiful cis-gendered boyfriend.

Dear you,
testosterone lowers your voice
but your face still looks like a doll
and that lipstick looks great on you.

Dear you,
You can’t be a girl scout
but you make tents in your backyard
invite all your friends
and you eat unroasted marshmallows
and braid each others hair.
Who needs badges anyway?

Dear you,
Mens or Womens?
Womens or Mens?
You want to walk between the doors
and find a stall just for you.
Instead go to Target,
they have unisex bathrooms and icees
and thats the best way to celebrate your gender.

Dear you,
you can’t join the mens club
and your sister wants you to be a brides maid.
You just want to grow out your beard
and braid the hair on your chin.
So you do,
and you look great in that dress,
even if your sister had to pick a friend to be a bridesmaid instead.

Dear you,
Throw out ‘girls only’ clubs
and who needs ‘boys only’?
When you can all go to the nearest sex shop
and buy harnesses and blueberry lubricant,
then eat tacos next door.

Dear you,
it won’t be easy.
No one ever said it would be.
Some people won’t recognize who you are,
and sometimes that won’t be okay.
And sometimes being who you are
also means being nervous, and being left out.

But don’t forget that you can make your own club;
your ‘boys and girls’ club.
Where your mustache can match your dress,
and you don’t need badges to be a girl.
Don’t forget that their second glances,
their questioning gazes,
and their confusion,
takes nothing away from your magic.

After all,
your lipstick is on perfect, and it matches your dress.
After all,
who needs boyscouts when you’ve got a vintage corset
and a great singing voice?

And you,
don’t forget,
that your different colours do not betray your beauty
but add to it.

(via fuckyeahmenfolk)

4:06am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZmaiTyR34B-b
(Notes: 666)
  
Filed under: gender 
July 25, 2012

paintwithwords:

asexual-not-a-sexual:

Second side to the Gender Business Cards. 

Side 1: Here

brilliant.

(via vaganja)

2:00am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZmaiTyQ2wwZW
(Notes: 1,377)
  
Filed under: gender 
July 18, 2012
A gender-neutral third-person pronoun has arisen spontaneously as a part of kids' slang in Baltimore

queerandpresentdanger:

“What’s also interesting about the kids’ language is that people — mostly academics — have been trying to introduce a gender-neutral singular pronoun into the English language for about 200 years, with very little success. And then a group of kids in Baltimore just make one up and start using it.”

(Source: motherfuckerofbabylon, via transpride)

12:57pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZmaiTyPcVF7n
(Notes: 6,033)
  
Filed under: language gender 
July 16, 2012
cakemeister: because people seem to like it, here are gifs of the symbol with no background to use as you see fit: my intention was to create a symbol for those who fall outside the lines of cis and trans* male and female; for the genderqueer and genderfluid; third gender and agender; etc. it obviously relies on the mars and venus male and female gender symbols, and is a combination of them in the x: the + of the venus symbol rotated and the > of the male symbol, but the x also denounces them. x has become a symbol of the non-binary, in pronouns and titles; it seemed fitting here. its position on the circle deviates from the positions of the male, female, and trans* symbols, because it is not them, but is not meant to be above them. this symbol is for anyone who identifies beyond male and female. use it well.

cakemeister:

because people seem to like it, here are gifs of the symbol with no background to use as you see fit:

my intention was to create a symbol for those who fall outside the lines of cis and trans* male and female; for the genderqueer and genderfluid; third gender and agender; etc.

it obviously relies on the mars and venus male and female gender symbols, and is a combination of them in the x: the + of the venus symbol rotated and the > of the male symbol, but the x also denounces them. x has become a symbol of the non-binary, in pronouns and titles; it seemed fitting here. its position on the circle deviates from the positions of the male, female, and trans* symbols, because it is not them, but is not meant to be above them.

this symbol is for anyone who identifies beyond male and female. use it well.

(Source: wienermeister, via gqid)

5:10pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZmaiTyPUXQpD
(Notes: 709)
  
Filed under: gender 
July 6, 2012
"Boys will be boys, that’s what people say. No one ever mentions how girls have to be something other than themselves altogether. We are to stifle the same feelings that boys are encouraged to display. We are to use gossip as a means of policing ourselves — this way those who do succumb to sex but are not damaged by it are damaged instead by peer malice. Girls demand a covenant because if one gives in, others will be expected to do the same. We are to remain united in cruelty, ignorance, and aversion. Or we are to starve the flesh from our bones, penalizing the body for its nature, castigating ourselves for advances we are powerless to prevent. We are to make false promises then resist the attentions solicited. Basically we are to become expert liars. (p. 65)"

—

― Hilary Thayer Hamann, Anthropology of an American Girl (via theconcupiscentconcubine)

this way those who do succumb to sex but are not damaged by it are damaged instead by peer malice.

(via jonathan-cunningham)

6:41am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZmaiTyOoqnWi
(Notes: 194)
  
Filed under: quote gender 
July 4, 2012
to elaborate

a-bayani:

saschaeatsteeth:

missvoltairine:

there are many people for whom the fight for the right to marry is part and parcel of the fight for the right to access to better healthcare, housing, financial stability, immigration and citizenship status, the protection of their children, and general acceptance and protection from harassment and violence within their religious, rural, etc communities. 

I’m tired of the idea that marriage can be separated from these issues while the institution of marriage remains as it is. I’m tired of this compartmentalization of peoples’ civil rights. This shit is connected and if you want to talk about privilege in the discourse around gay marriage let’s talk about the privilege of being able to ignore how connected it really is.

Which is something rich white cis gay dudes like Dan Savage do all the time when they centre “traditional” gay families in these discussions! It’s true! That’s shitty and I hate it! Tear it down!

But it’s ALSO something I see ~radical queerz~ doing, even while they do it under the guise of attacking mainstream queers who do it? And I find that to be just a tad hypocritical.

As I find it a tad hypocritical to ignore, marginalize, and malign people or whom access to marriage can mean survival because Dan Savage is a bigoted asshole.

How are we ever going to de-centre dudes like that if we continue to frame even our resistance to hegemony in terms of them, comparing marginalized people to them, etc?

If you want to destroy the social institution of marriage - yay! I’m all for that! let’s do it! - start with the people who have the least to lose by having their access to that institution restricted. IE, NOT QUEER AND TRANS PEOPLE. Abolish cis straight marriage! Or, like I’ve said: focus on building us clear, accessible, and effective alternatives to marriage for things like immigration and citizenship processes, child protection, health care access and visitation rights, etc - make THAT part of your resistance to “queer assimilation”.

Stop treating this like a theoretical exercise in What A Queer Utopia Should Be Like - looking at you, Dean Spade! - because it’s not. It’s peoples’ real lives and survival.

but this isn’t a simplified concept that fits on a patch for my vest

i was nodding & nodding and then almost spit out/choked on my water omg sascha

(via a-bayani-deactivated20121004)

1:48am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZmaiTyOg6FTg
(Notes: 259)
  
Filed under: sexuality gender quote so important! 
June 24, 2012
"Our work of love should be to reclaim masculinity and not allow it to be held hostage to patriarchal domination. There is a creative, life-sustaining, life-enhancing place for the masculine in a non-dominator culture. And those of us committed to ending patriarchy can touch the hearts of real men where they live, not by demanding that they give up manhood or maleness, but by asking that they allow its meaning to be transformed, that they become disloyal to patriarchal masculinity in order to find a place for the masculine that does not make it synonymous with domination or the will to do violence."

— bell hooks, The Will to Change, p115.  (via funkyfest)

(Source: tiledsarenomore, via fuckyeahmenfolk)

10:50pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZmaiTyO3OmQz
(Notes: 1,618)
  
Filed under: quote gender 
June 21, 2012
"It was never my mission or important for me to pass, I only wanted to feel better in my own skin. I think far too much importance is placed on ‘looking the part’ in our culture, and it’s upsetting to me when people use that as a qualifier to decide whether or not someone’s identity is real. All you have to do to be real is to open your mouth and identify who you are. I am who I say I am, no matter what my body may visually tell the world, and it’s not up for public debate."

—

—Comedian Ian Harvie (via jadenrogers)

I met him at my first Pride. <3

10:24pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZmaiTyNs-LhH
(Notes: 4)
  
Filed under: quote gender 
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