Shout out to femme nonbinary folks who have their identities questioned because they don’t live up to a patriarchal definition of androgyny
Anonymous said: How do I discuss abortion in a gender neutral way? I don't want to be hurtful when I talk about abortion.
Thanks for asking!
Problem Language: Woman/Women
Gender Neutral Language: Person/People
Sentence: “I support a person’s right to choose.” - “People having on demand access to abortion in crucial.”
Problem Language: Pregnant Women/Woman
Gender Neutral Language: Pregnant Person/People
Sentence: “A pregnant person is most likely to abort in the first trimester.” - “Unsafe abortion is a leading killer of pregnant people.”
Problem Language: Woman/Women
Gender Neutral Language: Person/People who can become pregnant.
Sentence: “A person who can become pregnant should be able to seek reproductive health services without laws or stigma getting in the way.” - “Over 3/4 of people who can become pregnant do not have an abortion provider in their county.”
Problem Language: Woman/Women
Gender Neutral Language: Person/People this issue affects.
Sentence: “1 in 3 people this issue affects will have an abortion by age 40.” - “A person this issue affects may have difficulty affording an abortion.”
Problem Language: Mother
Gender Neutral Language: Pregnant Person/Parent
Sentence: “The chance of the pregnant person feeling regret after an abortion is actually statistically low.” - “The parent decided to terminate the pregnancy to take better care of their existing child.”
I did not include “People with uteruses” or “Person with a uterus” due to trans and Non-binary people telling me they find it triggering and reducing them to body parts. There’s plenty of alternatives, so let’s make our spaces safe and comfortable for everyone.
This should make it extremely clear what language to use and how to use it. If I have forgotten something or I am suggesting problematic language please let me know and I’ll make alterations.
The gender neutral term for “ladies and gentleman” is “distinguished guests”. This has been around since at least the 60s, so no one is going to question your use of it.
Please, please use this along with “ladies and gentlemen” if you aren’t entirely sure of the gender of your audience.
Everyone please repeat after me:
You can be genderfluid and not appear androgynous
You do not have to wear your gender/genderfluidity/agender in a socially acceptable manner only.
You do not have to meet other peoples standard of what your gender looks/acts/sounds like.
READ THIS BABY
First off, anons really have some nerve trying to “ridicule” mothafuckas on here when they’re hiding behind some gray face, but whatever - thats not the point of this post.
My point is that someone just messaged Trent saying:
“This whole trans thing you’re announcing on tumblr is such bullshit and is offensive to people that actually struggle with their gender identity. Unless you actually attempt to pass as a guy or take hormones you’re not trans. This pretence doesn’t shock or challenge anyone, it seems like a desperate attempt to get attention/notoriety.”
See, that’s that shit I just don’t understand. Let’s break this down, shall we?
- Who the fuck are YOU to question someone else’s gender identity?
- Gender identity is about self determination right? Key word being “self”.
- Who the fuck are YOU to police someone’s transition? Not everyone can or wants to physically transition. Some people socially transition.
- You really need to reevaluate your thoughts and feels on the gender binary. After all what does a guy look like? Really though.
- SOME TRANS* PEOPLE DON’T GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK THEY SHOULD OR SHOULDN’T LOOK LIKE.
- News Flash: Passing isn’t everything to every trans* person.
- It’s people like you that make gender non-conforming trans* folks feel like they don’t belong.
- As though, we don’t have enough boxes being thrown at us.
- You need to challenge ya damn self.
- Fuck off.
Pass/fail: Navigating a World that doesn’t Believe your Gender Exists (via ninjabikeslut)
Maybe that’s why some trans* people believe that nonbinary people don’t have dysphoria/ have it easier—because if they aren’t struggling to pass as one gender or the other, then there would be no issue. Not saying I believe that (I am nonbinary), I’ve just wondered why pass/fail gets painted as a binary trans* issue.
SOME DAYS TRANSITIONING CAN BE SUCH A CRASH COURSE IN PUBLIC SCRUTINY. ITS AS IF THE GENERAL PUBLIC FORGOT THE BASIC IDEA THAT ITS RUDE TO STARE. ITS GETTING ON A TRAIN FILLED WITH EYES DETERMINED TO DECIPHER MY BODY AND ITS COVERINGS WITH CODES AND SEMIOTIC SYSTEMS THAT CAN’T EVEN RECOGNIZE MY FACE. ITS CIS MEN, OLD AND YOUNG, FLUCTUATING BETWEEN DISGUST, SEXUAL INTEREST AND/OR A REFUSAL TO ENGAGE EITHER OF THE TWO. ITS CIS WOMEN, YOUNG AND OLD, SPITTING ON MY FACE WITH THEIR EYES, SHAMING ME WITH GLARES. ITS A WORLD OF PEOPLE HURRYING TO GET TO THEIR 9 TO 5 AND TRUCK IT BACK HOME BEFORE THEY HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE SPACE I’M PRESUMED TO NATURALLY INHABIT - THE UNREGULATED LAISSEZ-FAIRE MARKET OF DESIRE SYMBOLIZED BY THE NIGHT. I AM AN UNWELCOME REMINDER THAT THEIR WORLD IS AN ILLUSION. A VIRUS INCARNATE
you’re wearing a corset and vinyl leggings
and you don’t have breasts to fill in the pockets,
but you look great in it anyway.
sucking on star shaped chocolate
while picking out a pink strap-on
to make love to your beautiful cis-gendered boyfriend.
testosterone lowers your voice
but your face still looks like a doll
and that lipstick looks great on you.
You can’t be a girl scout
but you make tents in your backyard
invite all your friends
and you eat unroasted marshmallows
and braid each others hair.
Who needs badges anyway?
Mens or Womens?
Womens or Mens?
You want to walk between the doors
and find a stall just for you.
Instead go to Target,
they have unisex bathrooms and icees
and thats the best way to celebrate your gender.
you can’t join the mens club
and your sister wants you to be a brides maid.
You just want to grow out your beard
and braid the hair on your chin.
So you do,
and you look great in that dress,
even if your sister had to pick a friend to be a bridesmaid instead.
Throw out ‘girls only’ clubs
and who needs ‘boys only’?
When you can all go to the nearest sex shop
and buy harnesses and blueberry lubricant,
then eat tacos next door.
it won’t be easy.
No one ever said it would be.
Some people won’t recognize who you are,
and sometimes that won’t be okay.
And sometimes being who you are
also means being nervous, and being left out.
But don’t forget that you can make your own club;
your ‘boys and girls’ club.
Where your mustache can match your dress,
and you don’t need badges to be a girl.
Don’t forget that their second glances,
their questioning gazes,
and their confusion,
takes nothing away from your magic.
your lipstick is on perfect, and it matches your dress.
who needs boyscouts when you’ve got a vintage corset
and a great singing voice?
that your different colours do not betray your beauty
but add to it.